ASN: U.S. Soccer Information: Golazos, Gashes, Gingers, Gonads

Josh Deaver’s weekly ASN 100 Replace is again and higher than ever, with newsy tidbits, snarky commentary and so many movies to look at your productiveness is sure to endure.

BY

Josh Deaver

Posted
March 27, 2014
10:58 AM

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Michael Bradley—ASN rank #1
The brand new-look Toronto FC franchise stored rolling in Week 3 of the brand new MLS season, downing DC United 1-0 within the membership’s dwelling debut at BMO Area. Solely two weeks in and the DP trio of Michael Bradley, Jemaine Defoe, and Gilberto seems to be clicking on all cylinders. They sliced the D.C. United backline so incessantly that the rating line might’ve simply been 3-0 on the break. It wasn’t till the sixtieth minute, nonetheless, that the Reds acquired on the board after Bradley performed a fantastic ball to Gilberto, whose deflected shot fell into the trail of Defoe, who slotted it dwelling for the sport’s solely purpose. Along with the three factors, Bradley additionally got here away from the match with 12 staples in his head after cracking skulls with Davy Arnaud throughout a second-half problem.

Somebody requested Bradley, ‘What number of staples?’ ‘Dunno,’ he shrugged. pic.twitter.com/RHzpOwC29R

— cathalkelly (@cathalkelly) March 22, 2014

Arnaud fell in a heap, whereas Bradley walked away regardless of bleeding profusely from the top.

Landon Donovan—ASN rank #2
Not apt to dwell on a humbling Champions League exit within the midweek, Donovan and the Galaxy had been again to MLS enterprise this previous weekend, grinding out a 1-1 draw with Actual Salt Lake. Nonetheless knotted with Jeff Cunningham on the high of the all-time MLS goal-scoring listing, Donovan should wait till the California SuperClasico on April sixth for his subsequent shot at historical past. A purpose will put him atop the MLS scoring listing, making him the ninth highest-scoring participant in American membership soccer historical past. (He has an extended method to go to catch Archie Stark, although.)

Geoff Cameron—ASN rank #4
Geoff Cameron continues to be the top-performing American within the Premier League—and presumably your complete European footballing panorama. Getting the beginning for Stoke Metropolis on Saturday, Cameron put in his customary 90-minute shift and scored his second purpose of the season for the Potters in a 4-1 win over Aston Villa. Shifting up the center channel on a Ninetieth-minute counterattack, Cameron latched on to a wonderful ball from the energetic Marko Arnautovich and simply slotted it dwelling previous fellow American Brad Guzan. With 4 consecutive outcomes, Stoke now sit within the high half of the English desk.

Fabian Johnson—ASN rank #5
If solely to additional confound Jurgen Klinsmann’s backline ball of yarn, Fabian Johnson acquired the beginning for Hoffenheim at proper again on Sunday, enjoying 90 minutes and offering the game-winning help in a 3-2 win over Bayern Leverkusen. The often left-sided defender confirmed his weak-side chops within the 89th minute, bending in a wonderfully positioned cross to Anthony Modestewho completed for the game-winner. Throughout post-goal celebration, the purpose scorer jokingly examined the integrity of the facet netting, a reference to the “ghost goal” Leverkusen scored towards Hoffenheim firstly of the season. Oh, you cad!

Jozy Altidore—ASN rank #6
Jozy Altidore’s season of endless horror continued unabated on Saturday. Positive he began (his first since early February) and performed (90 complete minutes!), however Sunderland misplaced as soon as once more, this time 2-0 to a not-so-great Norwich Metropolis facet. The one silver lining: someway there are literally two groups worse than the Black Cats, who might nonetheless probably stave off relegation.

Aron Johannsson—ASN rank #7
The Icelandic-American, nonetheless trying to break Altidore’s European purpose scoring file by an American worldwide, had two wonderful probabilities this previous weekend to search out the rating sheet in a 2-1 win over PEC Zwolle. Someway, he barely missed on each. Within the eighth minute, it appeared that Johannsson acquired his head on a Steven Berghuis cross for the purpose, however the replay confirmed the ball skimmed simply over his head on its well beyond the goalkeeper. Johannsson can also be reported to have missed a 52nd minute penalty kick that will’ve put the match out of attain. As a result of I can discover no video of such an incidence, I’ll fake it didn’t occur.

AZ 2-1 PEC Zwolle by antonis_tsir

Clint Dempsey—ASN rank #8
The MLS disciplinary Committee handed Clint Dempsey at two-match ban for—how ought to I put this delicately?—slapping Toronto’s Mark Bloom within the balls. In response, Jurgen Klinsmann went all soccer mother, defending his captain from what he perceives is persistent infringement on the Sounders attacker, who has been fouled a league-leading 3.6 occasions per match. Klinsmann added, “It appears very harsh and comes at a really dangerous time for us because it throws him out of rhythm earlier than Mexico.” C’mon Main League Soccer, you don’t hate America, do you?!?!

Omar Gonzalez—ASN rank #13
You’d suppose a borderline embarrassing defensive effort towards Tijuana would’ve put some spring within the step of the Galaxy protection. Nonetheless, lower than two minutes into this weekend’s 1-1 draw with Actual Salt Lake—we will not utter the phrases. Simply watch the video under. I feel it’s secure to say that the majority area gamers for Portugal, Ghana, and Germany would’ve completed that one.

Alejandro Bedoya—ASN rank #14
Bedoya began on the bench for Nantes this weekend, however entered the match as an early second-half substitute, enjoying 39 minutes within the 2-1 win over Montpellier. Energetic in his brief stint, Bedoya drew a penalty (and Montpellier’s second pink card) late within the match. Through the post-match celebration, it seems Bedoya is infusing the Ligue 1 facet with some good ol’ American taste, main his teammates in a rousing version of “I Believe That We Will Win.”

La joie du vestiaire après FC Nantes… by FCNantesTV

DaMarcus Beasley—ASN rank #18
Edgar Castillo—ASN rank #29
The presumed left again contingent for the U.S. World Cup squad every put their mark on the Liga MX “USMNT Derby” between Tijuana and Puebla on Friday, a match ending in a 3-1 win for the Xolos. Getting the begins and each enjoying 90 minutes, each Beasley and Castillo delivered assists for his or her respective golf equipment. Edgar Castillo gave Tijuana a 2-0 lead after a speedy touchline jaunt led to a Sixty fifth-minute strike from Fidel Martinez. Beasley answered again within the 83rd minute. Drawing three defenders with some tough strikes within the field, the 31-year-old discovered Maicon Santos with the layoff for a late comfort purpose. Puebla’s Michael Orozco and Tijuana’s Herculez Gomez additionally featured within the match.

Steve Cherundolo—ASN rank #24
Put together for an additional exit from the ASN 100 as Steve Cherundolo formally introduced his retirement from aggressive soccer final week. Cherundolo, who has been coping with interminable knee accidents during the last season, will stay with long-time membership Hannover as an assistant for the reserve squad. Not a lot may be stated that hasn’t been stated already, however Cherundolo was a real legend in trendy American soccer. He made his personal method in Europe and succeeded past wildest expectations. Cherundolo ended his exceptional profession with a club-record 302 Bundesliga appearances for Hannover. And he’ll little doubt be missed within the U.S. package.

Brad Evans—ASN rank #26
Underreported story: One week from the final nationwide workforce coaching camp earlier than the World Cup preliminary roster is introduced, and Brad Evans continues to be nursing a calf damage. After leaving early in final week’s match with Toronto FC, Evans didn’t costume throughout Seattle’s 2-0 win over Montreal on Sunday. With choices dwindling, does teammate DeAndre Yedlin get one other shot below Klinsmann?

Jose Torres—ASN rank #31
I do imagine this strike qualifies as a pure, unadulterated GOLAZO by “Gringo” Torres. What. A. Hit.

Dax McCarty—ASN rank #32
Jeff Larentowicz—ASN rank #75

Needed 3 factors, however the total efficiency was a lot improved. 2 gingers scoring in the identical recreation must be an indication of the apocalypse. #RBNY

— Dax McCarty (@DaxMcCarty11) March 23, 2014

It’s occurring. [Begins building fortified underground shelter]

Brek Shea—ASN rank #40
Geez, Brek. Polarizing a lot? Give a learn to Laura Greene’s newest version of “On the Record,” which tracks what individuals are saying in regards to the lanky Texan. No matter your opinion, Shea has confirmed himself to be a game-changer throughout his tenure with the nationwide workforce.

Julian Inexperienced—ASN rank #56

FIFA has authorized change of nationality for Julian Inexperienced–he’s eligible to play for USMNT instantly.

— Sunil Gulati (@sunilgulati) March 24, 2014

Oh, you didn’t know? You higher name someone. It seems Inexperienced is all set to make his nationwide workforce debut subsequent week towards Mexico. In associated information, Arsenal phenom Gedion Zelalem is not listed on the German Below-17 roster. Stay in hope, America.

Oguchi Onyewu—ASN rank #61
So, when did Oguchi Onyewu flip into an attacking midfielder? Dealing with off towards former membership QPR, which unceremoniously waived him earlier this 12 months, Onyewu went on a strong run previous two defenders earlier than slotting a move to Leon Finest who discovered the online for the Owls in a 3-0 win. You’d be proper to suppose his shocker towards Ukraine would get rid of him from World Cup competition. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t be so positive.

Will Packwood—ASN rank #95
On Friday, the younger Birmingham Metropolis defender, who just lately acquired his first senior nationwide workforce name up, was named Soccer League Participant of the Month for February. In weekend motion, Packwood performed 90 minutes for the Blues in a 2-1 loss to Studying. Hovering precariously near the drop zone, Birmingham Metropolis has now misplaced six of its final eight in league play.
Josh Deaver is a former tutorial turned soccer obsessive. Observe him on Twitter.