Kansas Metropolis Referees advance to AFC Championship Sport

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE REFEREES ADVANCE TO CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
JUST ONE WIN FROM THE SUPER BOWL!

Regardless of the perfect efforts of DeMeco Ryans and his Houston Texans gamers and coaches, they couldn’t overcome the juggernaut that’s Clay Martin and his NFL Officiating Crew this previous Saturday.

Martin wasted no time affecting the end result of the matchup by permitting an egregious hip-drop sort out in opposition to Texans tight finish Dalton Schultz. The shortage of a flag on the play was simply what Schultz deserved for daring to catch a move and advance it for an enormous acquire.

Previous to the beginning of the 2024 NFL Season, league executives voiced a renewed give attention to eradicating the damaging hip-drop sort out from the sport to decrease the probabilities of pointless participant harm. The one caveat to this focus: if the hip-drop benefitted the Clay Martin-led Kansas Metropolis Chiefs.

NFL Officers (perhaps)

We instructed the Texans earlier than the sport they higher not try to win this one – or else. Apparently they did not pay attention. Properly… we didn’t really inform them outright but it surely was certainly implied.

Sadly for Houston followers, the Texans continued to try to win the sport, together with a blatantly pointless try to power Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes to the bottom. Fortunately, Mahomes was in a position to duck beneath the blitzing Texan Will Anderson Jr, forcing him to collide with a teammate as a substitute.

Bonus factors to Martin’s crew for imposing the penalty on Anderson for daring to try to contact Mahomes.

Clay Martin (perhaps)

No one tries to the touch my Mahomie and will get away with it!

Fortunately Martin’s staff was in a position to additional shield Mahomie… err… Mahomes by permitting Kansas Metropolis’s offensive line to carry defenders every time needed with no danger of infraction.

Ever eagle-eyed, Martin and his staff acknowledge the massiveness of Mahomes’ ego, which bodily extends the scale of his head properly down into the chest space, making contact together with his shoulder pads or sternum penalizable.

Fortunately for Martin and his friends, the script for a Chiefs win comes down from Vince McMahon Roger Goodell himself, who additionally occurs to be the man who indicators their paychecks. If the boss instructed you to cheat, you’re simply doing all of your job – integrity doesn’t pay the payments, proper? Or beat the Buffalo Payments?

Undecided anybody has the actual reply to this questionable parody, however can NFL refs win Tremendous Bowl rings? It’s all simply leisure for the plenty… If insurance coverage corporations, pharmaceutical producers, and the U.S. authorities can cheat the American folks, why not the NFL?

When a 3 time Tremendous Bowl successful quarterback calls out the filth, it’s a great guess that issues aren’t clear. And, when a Dallas Cowboy is taking the facet of the Houston Texans, it’s a good higher one.

— END PARODY —

All of the jokes and such apart, the Texans lacking their WR2 & 3 made it straightforward for any high quality opposing protection to close down Houston’s passing recreation. Historical past reveals 1-dimensional groups not often advance far within the NFL playoffs. The Chiefs have been the higher staff final weekend, and the amateurish officiating simply dirty that win. The Kansas Metropolis Chiefs are actually in the identical environs was the Cheatgate New England Patriots – a great staff that seemingly couldn’t win with integrity.

Worse nonetheless, the overwhelming voices from the NFL fanbase who’re rising uninterested in referee-altered outcomes to video games. Not simply drunken voices from native bars, however skilled journalists, sportscasters and captains of business. This obvious WWE type NFL is clearly unsustainable.

Perhaps it’s time the League paid an unbiased third social gathering entity to supply the officers. Fats probability that occurs. However ultimately, it’s only a recreation. A infantile distraction from the tough realities of contemporary dwelling.

Houston Texans followers: ready for subsequent season since 2002.