Cathy and Jake Purchase a Printer: A Brief Play In regards to the Teaching Search

An early morning at Staples. Cathy and Jake are pacing again forth down the overcomplicated printer aisle.

JAKE: I like you, Cathy.

CATHY: It is best to.

JAKE: However I hate being right here.

CATHY: There are too many printers.

JAKE: So much.

CATHY: All of them do various things.

JAKE: They do.

CATHY: What are we in search of?

JAKE: What?

CATHY: What’s most essential?

JAKE: Printing.

CATHY: All of them print, ass.

JAKE: Do all of them print nicely?

CATHY: How the fuck am I speculated to know how they print. They’re sitting on a shelf. We purchase one, we take it residence, we join it, it prints. That’s after we be taught how they print.

JAKE: We might learn evaluations.

CATHY: From who?

JAKE: Whom.

CATHY: Fuck you.

JAKE: Opinions from folks. On the web.

CATHY: Do you assume we must always actually be trusting the varieties of people that evaluate printers on the web?

JAKE: The best way I see it –

CATHY: See what?

JAKE: Let me end.

CATHY: Okay.

JAKE: The best way I see it, now we have two choices. We are able to purchase considered one of these dependable guys. Nothing thrilling. You hit print; they print. You realize what you’re getting, in commonplace black and white.

CATHY: That are these?

JAKE: This right here, the Rivera1985, or the HP-Carroll73. Regular.

CATHY: Is that what we’re in search of? Regular?

JAKE: It’s an possibility.

CATHY: What’s the opposite possibility?

JAKE: One in every of these newer, sexier machines. One in every of these machines that may do an entire vary of issues.

CATHY: Inform me extra. Inform me extra about what they’ll do.

JAKE: Are you getting turned on?

CATHY: (mendacity) No.

JAKE: Are you getting turned on within the fucking printer aisle at Staples?

CATHY: (nonetheless mendacity) I’m not.

CATHY walks over to a big printer and runs her smooth palms over it.

CATHY (cont’d): What does this one do?

JAKE: Cathy –

CATHY: It’s so massive.

JAKE: Sufficient.

CATHY: I’m unsure our workplace might even deal with it.

JAKE: Cathy, focus!

CATHY: Woo. (takes a breath) Okay.

JAKE: Are you targeted?

CATHY: Certain.

JAKE: You’re not!

CATHY: I simply need to have my palms on it.

JAKE: Cathy…

CATHY: I’ll cease.

JAKE: Will you?

CATHY: I cannot.

JAKE: I actually don’t need to be on this aisle all day.

CATHY: The printers.

JAKE: Proper.

CATHY: What do you like?

JAKE: I believe we’d like a brand new, sexier possibility.

CATHY: Sure.

JAKE: This right here, the Johnson –

CATHY: Johnson?!

JAKE: It’s very nicely regarded. So is the Monken3000.

CATHY: So what’s stopping us?

JAKE: Custom. Historical past. It’s simply not one thing now we have completed, Cathy.

CATHY: Jake, we’ve all the time completed what we’ve completed and you realize what occurs?

JAKE: What?

CATHY: We find yourself again on this aisle taking a look at new printers.

JAKE: You’re proper.

CATHY: So, perhaps it’s time we alter our strategy.

JAKE: I agree.

CATHY: Good.

JAKE: I like you.

CATHY: It is best to.

Finish of scene.

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